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There is a LOOOOONG way to go to sustain a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP.
Think of a continent to explore. It’s like a lifetime backpacking towards Africa and still you will never explore the whole continent. To be in the path, to be curious, to be intentional and excited; that’s all will take to have a long term relationship.
Sometimes you may get lost in this continent, you may get tired due to hectic journey or hectic track, you want to give up and want a new adventure and that’s the point where you lost that beautiful person sitting right beside you.
That’s the point where you need to sustain your long term relationship. The simplest thing is:
“You have it, you sustain it. You sustain it, you enjoy it.”
What does long term relationship means to you?
Different people have different thought so it must be clear that what does a long term relationship means to you? For some people the definition of it may be some weeks, months or years. So you have to look into your relationship and your definition of it.
If you are not sure about your relationship and want to know about it check out 35 signs you have a long term relationship.
14 Tips to sustain a long term relationship
THE BASIC INGREDIENTS
The beautiful thing to sustain a long term relationship is to commit to it! Commitment is everything. If you want to have this person forever you have to make him/her yours completely. Some people take commitment serious as by proposing their girl with a ring and others go the other way round like kissing her and saying “you are mine”.
Do whatever it takes but never let that special person for granted.
2. Be Honest
Everyone has read in the school that honesty is the best policy. It is true in the case of long term relationships also. If one is not honest with the other half how on earth they can have a long term relationship?
- If something is bugging you, you are having something you haven’t shared for the fear of being judged, or there is a lie in between you, just be honest with your partner. Things which are kept inside will increase gaps from the outside. So remove this barrier in your relation. Be honest to yourself and your partner.
- The best thing to follow the honesty thing is share everything. When you share you open up the ‘real you’ to your partner and that’s what is going to sustain a long term relationship.
- Be a good listener while your partner is being honest with you. Don’t try to judge him/her. He may have a very hard time sharing this secret with you but at least he is considering you his special one and not keeping things from you.
- If the definition of honesty to you is to share every possible detail of you then you have to share that thing. If there is something from the past which can jeopardize your current relationship, never hesitate to share.
3. Personal space
Some couple thinks that personal space is just shit and it creates boundaries. The practical truth is the opposite. There are things that just you want to do and you enjoy. Your partner often gets bore while you are doing those things or want to do those things. Sometimes you really want to read a book, watch a movie, go out with your friends, spend a time with some family member, just want to be quite for a time, a walk down the street or just a nap!
You will be totally offended if your partner will NOT ALLOW you doing these little things for your personal and mental satisfaction. Respect this personal space and enjoy it too. Your love will not end by doing it.
4. Value thoughts
We get it that you are in a long term relationship and it’s been a long time. You both are pretty much alike too. But it’s not necessary that you can have a concuss on one simple thing.
- We live in a diversified world. People are different. They are grown in different environment and with different people. They have different school of thoughts. One should not be gross with other if they have a different perspective.
- Respect and value his/her thoughts. He may not be wrong or not going against you but can have a totally different perspective from you.
5. Their friends
Remember what they say about the person who got a partner? That you will never see him again! Don’t be that idiot in your life. Friends are the persons who know you for a very long time. You have spent a whole childhood with them. They are the persons with whom you have done the craziest things and they can never be left behind.
- To avoid awkwardness when out with the friends of your partner, make mutual friends so that you can enjoy a good time together.
- Try to be friends of your partner’s friend and stop being the complaining one. Of course they will judge you but they are the part of your partner’s life. You have snatched the best friend from them. Give them time to understand that you are the honey now and they will embrace you gladly.
- Be friends with the couples with whom you enjoy hanging out.
6. Their family
I’m close to my dad, you could be close to your mum right? There comes a time in your long term relationship when he/she introduce you to his parents. Don’t just panic. If you are trying to sustain a long term relationship you have to give importance to his family also. His family is what made his personality. They have been in his life from a very LONG time so if you want to work on your LONG term relationship, this is the key!
You can find his stern dad rude or judging or can discover her mum changing looks when you just split the tea on her beautiful carpet accidentally. But hey! It’s okay. Even our parents are the same. They are old but they love us and our decisions completely. They even start liking our partner even if they have said bad things about him in the start.
THE ROUGH PATCH
7. Fix the Wrong!
There comes a time in our long term relationship when we get into a fight. Small or big, fight is a fight and we need to fix it.
- Stop ignoring the warning signs of a battle if you want to sustain your long term relationship.
- When in problem, FIX IT. There is no other way out. Try to be calm and make your relation a priority over your anger.
- If you’re having anger management issues, then you are the one who is going to let down your long term relationship.
Remember that there are two types’ of problems which lead into an argument. These are Common problems and serious problems.
- If the fight is over dish washing it is one common fight after being exhausted from hectic office hours and then taking care of the house chores. This can easily be fixed. Try to keep quite instead of reacting. You can just do the thing he/she wants you to. Even if you are not in a mood to do you can say it politely without being into a stupid argument.
- If the fight is over your personality, constant degrading or lame excuses. This needs a serious attention. Such issues always turns out into a big argument and sometimes jeopardize the relationship. To sustain a long term relationship, try to eradicate such issues. If you are in a long term relationship then you do know about each other very well so there should not be a single chance to have a fight over issues people with short term relationships face.
- The best rule is: Women are always right. NO OTHER WAY OUT. I’m repeating never ever think that you can win an argument by claiming that she is right. Ha-ha! She WINS, long term relationship WINS.
9. Spontaneous relationship
Make your long term relationship spontaneous. Aren’t you bore by going to office, coming back to home, have a kissing moment, eating dinner together, going to same places, having sex and go to sleep and starting this cycle again? And repeating this cycle for a longer period will surely dull your life and relationship.
- Put on some makeup to your long term relationship. Huda Beauty or Kyle it! Make it alive. Change the dull boring cycle of your routine.
- You are known to each other for years but dating each other cannot be stopped.
- Giving surprises is not a teenage thing. Surprises are the best things happen to you. So keep surprising your partner. Keep that spark ALIVE.
10. Express love
You may have said that you love your partner a thousand times up till now. But that doesn’t means that you are going to stop telling it. Always express your love to your partner. It’s not odd and not a teenage thing so don’t be embarrass about it.
A simple text of I love you from the office will enlighten her world. A simple whisper in his ears of these words will melt his heart. So, do say you love her/him!
11. Partners in crime
Remember when you first time met? You used to do all the crazy things together. That was something LONG ago right? But here we are talking about sustaining a LONG term relationship. Why not being crazy with the love of your life when he is your whole world?
- Do the craziest with your partner. Do things which you have never done together.
- Explore places you are never been into. Try some new restaurants, go for a movie, go to a night club and dance like you’ve never done, drink vine and let it sting you! Go for a trip and forget the world behind.
- Learn new things you’ve never thought of. Sign into a dance club and learn salsa or bhangra! Give your home a new paint and do it all yourself. Never tried ski or scuba diving? Ow that’s a thing!
- It’s not necessary that you have to plan something expensive to sustain the long term relationship. You can simply give each other a good massage; spend some time with popcorn and favorite season, making a delicious pasta or pizza together, tickling each other and enjoying the huge laughter all around!
You cannot just have that joyless sex which you do repeatedly and now having hunch that this is going to end!
- Add some spice to your sex life. Try new things and postures. Pleasure is all when you get with the flow and there are different ways of it.
- Talk about it! Most couples fail to sustain a long term relationship because they never talk about sex. Try to know things which you like the most or dislike. Tell him/her about the thing which you think is embarrassing or you will be judged. Oh stop it! You are not kids. You have been in a long term relationship and this is totally stupid to feel embarrassed.
THE GRAND FINALE
13. Moving In
That’s the thing most people PANIC. Oh come on! How can you forget those years of sleeping over at each other’s place? All those stress about your apartment’s rent while you enjoy that Saturday morning when you wake up together and split the cost of the breakfast, or a pizza which was costly if you were having it all alone, individually! And how can you forget that dull texts of telling each other that you are watching TV or reading a book!
Moving in is the best solution to sustain a long term relationship.
- You will be around all the time. And by all the time I don’t mean your office time, or your ALONE bathroom time. There will be a plenty of time after work which you can spend together.
- There will be splitting of the expenses and that will be a relief.
- By moving in you will see the real person in the routine life and there will be no fake things.
- Couples who are already living together are enjoying the perks of splitting of house chores too! YAY! You don’t have to do dish-washing all the time.
14. Mutual Goals
When you live together and want to sustain a long term relationship, there must be some mutual goals.
- First of all set future goals that what do you want to do next, is this job enough or you want a new one, how are you going to do savings for the future, are you going to have kids or not, if yes then what are the plans and so on.
- Be setting mutual goals it is easier to accomplish The big picture becomes clear and the ways reaching it also becomes easier to achieve.
Follow the simple tips to sustain a long term relationship and you will see yourselves growing old together. Be the sunshine in each other’s life. This person in your life, you just cannot let him go. Sometimes all we need is to change ourselves and we can see magic.
Nicholas Sparks said a very beautiful thing about long term relationships, it is:
“If the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?”