50 Questions You Should Ask YOURSELF Before Marriage

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Getting married and being a person who doesn’t want to end marriage into a divorce is something. You should ask yourself these 50 questions before marriage. You really don’t want to regret things after marriage when you are the one who didn’t take it serious in the start.

50 Questions You Should Ask YOURSELF Before Marriage

Questions to Ask Yourself Before Marriage

  1. What kind of person I am?

Am I a good or bad person? Am I the person my partner deserves? Look into yourself. Know your personality and the way you think and spend your life.

  1. Am I responsive enough?

How I have dealt with the responsibilities at my office and home? If you are a lazy person who always wants to run from your responsibilities then nothing can save you from a destructive marriage.

  1. Do I understand the bond of marriage?

Marriage is a two way thing. It is to give and take. If you don’t understand the concept of giving love and getting in return then there is nothing you can sustain. You should know that apart from the glitters and gold, marriage also consist the rough path which we have to cross carefully.

  1. Is there REAL happiness inside me for getting married?

If you are getting married and seems nervous then it’s pretty much normal. Every person feels a bit nervous. But if there is a constant sense of sadness inside you, then this is not the right time to go for it. There is something seriously wrong inside you.

  1. Am I having anger management issues?

If you are the person who gets angry easily and don’t know how to control it then you will be the one who will fail your marriage. There comes time when things happen which we don’t like. At such stage, one has to deal calmly. If you can’t control your anger, you will be the one always saying the bad words. Bad words lead to a destructive marriage.

  1. Why am I getting married?

You must know the main purpose behind your marriage. Marriage is not a little thing to take it lightly. It is something you really wanted and discussed thoroughly. If you think you need to divide yourself and everything related to you with that one person you love a lot, you are ready for it.

  1. What is the one thing for which I’m getting married to her/him?

You need to know why you think that your partner is the one you want to marry. Do you really love her/him? Is he a better person? What do you like the most in him? What was the first thing which compelled you to go for this big decision?  Is it his perspective of life, or his rich status quo, his adorable personality or it was just a wrong choice at all?

  1. Am I ready to live in with another person?

You have been living alone for years. Last time you shared your things and space was in the dorm room with your hostel mates. What about now? Are you really ready to allow another person to be a part of YOURSELF? To share a bed, your washroom, and even a sweat shirt is a thing you need to ask yourself before marriage.

  1. What is the best thing in me?

Look into yourself. Which is the best characteristic of your personality? Are you kind, extrovert, pious, optimist, a good listener, a secret box or one who can never say a NO.?

  1. What is the worst thing in me?

Seek out what is the worst thing about you. Are you an angry person who doesn’t know how to manage your anger? Do you get jealous from other’s success easily? Are you full of over confidence or lack of confidence? Find out so that you can improve yourself.

Also Read: 10 things you should ask your future spouse before you say I do!

  1. Will we have mutual future goals?

If you are going to marry than you will be having some mutual goals together. You must be planning on buying a new home, a handsome salary job, good vacations, some tours abroad, savings for retirement and other important things and so on. But for this to happen actually requires both of the partners to look into the same direction. If his goals are different than yours, then you won’t be able to spend a health married life. There will be conflicts and there will be a falling marriage.

  1. Will my personal goals get affected?

Every person has their own individual goals. Some are very passionate about the profession they are in and want to achieve the big perks. Some want to pursue their doctorate degree and do some real term research. Some people run their own business. Others are adventurous or always finding new ways to give their life a thrill. You never want to be with a person who does not support your dreams and wishes. One needs a supporting partner to run a successful marital life.

  1. What do peers says about me?

Look at your social circle. They are the one always around you. Your colleagues, your friends and family; they all know what kind of a person you are. Talk to your best friend about yourself. He knows you from childhood and will judge you better and will tell you where you have to improve yourself.

  1. Am I stable financially stable?

Love is magical but marriage is a thing which also needs some monetary wants to be fulfilled. If you have a good job and handsome salary you will be fulfilling the wishes of your spouse. All those fancy gifts, vacations, surprise birthday bash, spa and saloon tours, luxury cars and a perfect home; these cannot be attained with a less amount of money. So be practical! If you have less, you have to live accordingly. Try to have better career goals.

  1. Do I have emotional instability?

Are you going through any emotional break through due to the death of any beloved, a serious work or family pressure, or something you can relate to your mental or emotional disturbance? If you are emotionally disturbed due to any reason, this is not the right time to go for a marriage. Help yourself to get through this. Share with your partner.

  1. Am I a liar, faithful and trustworthy?

For relationships to work, the brick of the building is trust. If you are not trustworthy or loyal you can never be together with any person in the world. Trust and faithfulness are the things which nourish a healthy relation. It creates a strong bond where you share everything without being judged. If you are a liar, you won’t be trusted. Lies are like cobra sting in marital relations. Be a better person if you are not already.

  1. How will I manage work and home in balance?

If you are a pro managing professional, social and personal life at the same time, you are the one every other one wants as a partner. If you can’t manage these things and keep them separate from each other, it will spoil your marriage badly.

  1. How do I handle disagreements?

In any intimate relationship, arguments happen. How to create a heart-centered intimate relationship? You may agree to one thing & your partner may not. Arguments are only constructive if you lead them into solving the problem, understanding and respecting your partner’s perspective. If you are a person who reacts to anything against your view, you will fall your marriage badly. Disagreements need tolerance, patience and calmness.

  1. Do I love kids?

If you hate kids and have never hold a baby or loved it, sooner or later you will fail your marriage. At some point you will have kids and your behavior towards them will strengthen a bad marriage. Okay we get it that kids poop, or split milk or sometimes become fussy, but when they snuggle, or kiss, or hold your hand with their tiny soft hands, this changes your world completely.

  1. Will we have kids sooner or later?

If you are a career obsessed person or doing a straight 8 hour job you can’t have kids sooner. You need to talk with your partner for the right time to have kids. She doesn’t want to get pregnant in the middle of her up boosting career, or he does not want to own the responsibility of a father when he wants his back to be financially stable. So, talk about it.

  1. Do I have a drinking problem?

Trust me if you are alcoholic then sooner or later your marriage will fail. When you are drunk or love to spend time in the bars, you won’t be able to give attention to your family life. You will be arguing, fighting and even abusing at some stage. So if you have serious drinking issues do not marry and spoil the life of another person. If you have a little love for drinking, tell to your partner and schedule the drinking with her/him.

  1. Do I respect my parents?

If you are a good person and respect and love your parents, you will be the one paying respect to your partner’s parents as well. But if you have a bad relationship with your parents there are lesser chances of building a healthy relationship with your partner’s parents too. If you are paying respect to each other’s parents it means you will be paying respect to your relation also.

  1. How do I deal with conflicts?

Anger management is another thing but dealing with a conflict is totally different. Some people panic when something big comes and as they are freaked out, they mess up things badly. If your conflict management abilities are poor you need to work on them. Marriage is a relation in which ups and downs come and go. There will be a point where your partner will be arguing with you even on a little thing. Be ready for that.

  1. How was my relationship up till this stage?

You want to marry this person so it means you have been in a long term relationship with him/her. Check out 35 Signs You Have A Long Term Relationship!

Analyze yourself. What do you think? Were you capable enough to be a good partner? If your relationship has worked out normal and perfectly then it will be GREAT in the upcoming years where you will be more mature and persistent.

  1. Am I feeling trapped?

Do you ever feel trapped in this relationship? Is there something always bugging you that you have came so far and now is not a gentlemen/lady thing to step back? Find out if there is something because sooner or later this thing will take over your marriage.

  1. Do we accept each other?

If both of you loves the way you are, this is the best thing you have achieved about your relationship. To change a nature is not an easy thing, but we do change a bit with the person we are living. If you are being accepted for the crazier version of you, the spark of your life will always remain alive.

  1. Am I ready to spend the whole life with this person?

What is your past history with relationships? Have you been changing boyfriends/girlfriends a lot? If that is so, think about marriage. You have to spend your whole life with one person. It is a long commitment where you will grow old together and even change into a different person in so many years. Are you really ready for this?

  1. Am I marrying due to peer pressure?

Are you getting married because you really love your partner and want to start this big thing or this is just peer pressure? All of your friends and old mates are getting married and now and then you are getting questions like “Hey! It’s your turn buddy”. If this thing has provoked you for marriage, think for a while.

  1. AM I STILL interested in someone?

If you still like someone and their memories are disturbing you, you need to stop. Don’t cheat yourself. Getting married to someone and having flashbacks of another person this is not the right thing.

  1. Am I attracted to him/her?

Are you physically, emotionally and sexually attracted to your partner? Do you adore her/his body and thoughts? Attractions must be there to know that there is a special zing between you two.

  1. Am I ready to put her/him than myself?

Do you think that you will sacrifice your wants for the needs of your partner? Do you prioritize him/her for anything else?

  1. Is he/she married before?

If your partner is a divorcee and have been into a marriage before ask him/her about it. What was the reason his marriage failed at the first hand. Was this his fault? Will his ex disturb him for starting a new life? Do you even like to talk about it EVER?

  1. How much we are alike?

Does your lifestyle, status quo, hobbies, life views or nature alike or not? If you are the same people the car of the marriage will go smoothly. If your partner loves to travel half a year around and you hate to travel, he loves the chilly snowy weather and you love the sun tanning your skin, he loves Chinese but you are a Mexican food lover, then things are going to be a bit hard. If he/she is not like you need to work out on this.

  1. How I’m going to accept her religious belief (If she/he has a different religion)?

If both of you belong to a different religion you need to accept it. Both of you have to work out on how you are going to celebrate each other’s religious occasions and events. There will be different religious perspectives also and you will have to respect it. Even there won’t be any imposition of religion on your partner. If you love the person you have to deal with it.

  1. Do I share the same beliefs?

The integral thing of a marriage to work out fine is to have the same beliefs. If your beliefs are different there will be conflicts one way or other in teaching your kids what belief to go for.

  1. What kind of a team member I am?

Marriage is a tango of two! There will be a lot of things to repeat and do daily. If you are not cooperative and responsible then this won’t work. A good team member means a good healthy marriage.

  1. Am I proud of my partner?

Do you adore your partner? Are you proud of his/success? The degree he holds, the profession he is, the things he likes, the beliefs he follows, the person as a spouse, does it makes you a proud man/woman to have such a beautiful person in your life?

  1. Will I do house chores?

If you hate dish washing or laundry, there is no running from this in marriage. You have to split house chores if both of you have jobs to do. There can’t be burden on one partner. If you don’t like dish-washing you could do another chore instead of it but you can’t just ignore the house chores.

  1. Are we going to split expenses?

Do you really want to split the expenses and if yes then in what ways? There will be expenses of home, billings, grocery, clothes, luxuries and they need to be split. A single partner can’t afford all this. If you are working couple then things will be smooth.

  1. Are we satisfying our sexual needs?

How is your sex life? Do you often talk about it? Are you both satisfied with each other? Are you sexually attracted to each other? It’s important to communicate about your needs if not fulfilled with your partner. A dull boring sex life will provoke an extra marital affair.  Check out How to affair proof your marriage?

  1. How do we deal with ideas, wishes or complaints?

If she/he wishes for something or have an idea about something how do you react? Do you discourage the idea or appreciate and fulfill it? What do you do when she/he complaints you about anything? Do get angry or dishearten or try to solve the problem?

  1. Do I impose things?

If you have an authoritative nature and love to impose your choices over your partner, your marriage will fall soon. You cannot just impose your beliefs, friends, things and views on your partner. Obviously, you partner is a totally different person who is not a prisoner of this bond to agree on every other idiocy of yours.

  1. Are you solid friends?

If you have SOLID FRIENDSHIP, friendship like I’ll die if haven’t shared this with you, I just want to do this madness with you, reach me now save me from this boredom, this whole pizza is mine friends, you are going to have a SOLID MARRIAGE.

  1. Do I have hygiene issues?

If you are not a hygienic person and do not take care of cleanliness of yourself and your home you are not going to be a good partner. People don’t think about it but this is a serious thing for people living together and going to have kids soon. Nobody wants to live with a person who doesn’t shower daily or keeps his dirty kitchen the way it is for weeks!

  1. Am I a partner or a parent?

What kind of a partner I am?  Does he/she have to pamper me all the time?  Or do I have a partner to whom I have to be more of a parent than a partner? Focus on this childish thing which is easily ignored by many couples.

  1. Do we have fun together?

If you love having fun together, you are in the right direction. Things are not going to work if you have got a stern natured person while you are full of thrill and excitement.

  1. If there is a situation to be on family or spouse’s side, what would you do?

If there is a situation in which you have to choose between your family or spouse decision, or to support one of them, what will you do? Take things seriously. Consider your spouse your family and let your family accept your spouse so that there can’t be any conflict left behind.

  1. Have I shared my necessary medical information with my partner?

It is important to tell your partner of any disease (if you have) which can emotionally break your partner. You should also inform her/him of your common diseases you got. Share the medical history or any necessary detail if there is any.

  1. How are we going to deal with the debts?

Are you in a huge debt? Are you going to support your partner to get out from this debt? Talk about your debts before marriage. Your partner should never discover your debts after marriage.

  1. What is the gut feeling?

There is a gut feeling we all have and it is there for some reason. TRUST it. Even intuitions can resolve many things.

If you have answers of all these questions, marry immediately. But if you are doubtful, at least take a break and resolve any of your doubts to have a good start.

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